Friday, March 27, 2015

[3/28/15] Stick bugs

So I head home after the whole 'watching Blair Witch/ranting about my issues on the internet' thing last night at Dan's, and apparently I've now got a bug infestation. I don't know if I left a window open and they got inside that way, or what, but I come inside and find four or five of those stick-bugs just hanging out on my kitchen counter. I got rid of them, only to find more in and around several of the potted plans I keep in the house. One of the plants had been picked almost bare by the little bastards.

I'm not an expert on bugs by any means, but I'm not sure if these are poisonous or if they just happen to come in contact with some nasty stuff, but I don't want them around my house. Molly, my Australian Shepherd, ate one of them and got sick. She's doing okay now, but I'd rather not let that happen again. That, and I don't want them eating all of my plants. I'm gonna see if I can get someone to come out and do something about them.

On an unrelated note, Dan is 'proud' of me for 'opening up' about the night terrors. He's of the opinion that talking about them openly is going to help me work through them, and I'm of the opinion that if talking about them on the internet gets him to stop telling me to do it, I might as well do it.

We also talked about my post the other night, the one with the guy messing with me in the woods. I'd rather spend some time at some other trails, but Dan says I should go back to that trail and see if I can get a recording of whoever that was, on the off-chance that they're there the next time I go. Says it'll make for a creepy soundbite if I can get any of it on tape. I dunno. My phone has a recording function, so if I head back out there and they do it again, I'll try to record it, but I'm not making any promises.

[3/27/15] Blair Witch

I'm sitting on Dan's couch, while he sleeps in the armchair, with nothing better to do than post here. He invited me over to watch The Blair Witch Project, and then promptly fell asleep halfway through. He loves these kind of movies. I don't see how he can be so into stuff like this, and yet get so bothered by the thought of walking in the woods at night. This bothers me. Knowing something's out there, watching you, and you can't do a thing about it? I'll pass.

Also, I'm apparently failing to meet his expectations with this whole blog thing. He still thinks opening up to strangers on the internet about the whole night terrors issue will help. I'm not convinced, but he's not going to get off my back until I at least make an attempt.

So. Night terrors. It's not a thing most people ever deal with, and most people that have them only have them as children. It doesn't happen every night, but it happens often enough that it interferes with my sleep cycle.

I know what's going on during them. It's not like I'm in a trance or anything. Rationally, I know I'm safe, that everything I'm experiencing is in my head, but for some reason this doesn't matter. I wake up and I'm screaming and the sounds of my own screams just scare more more, and there's something in the room, something watching me, even though I know there isn't. There can't be. I'm alone, and yet I can't stop screaming. Sometimes I thrash around, as if I can fight off whatever is so terrifying that my body won't let me sleep. Sometimes I run. There isn't a reason, there isn't a destination, I just have to get away, away from whatever it is that my mind thinks might hurt me. Sometimes this leads me outside, and I'll come to my senses on my front lawn, drenched in sweat and dressed in whatever I fell asleep in, and sometimes it leads me someplace else in my home, and I'll find myself curled up into a ball, maybe in a closet, maybe in my bathtub, clutching my arms around myself as if that will protect me from my own mind.

What's worse is when I can't move at all. I wake up, and there's the same feelings, the same fear. Something is watching me, it's in the room with me and I can't see it, I can't even move. I try so hard to get up, to even open my mouth to scream, just to let the tension out, and often times I can't even do that, so I lay there, staring at my door and expecting any moment to see it open, to see eyes looking back at me from the darkness, until I pass out, because sometimes I can't get myself to breath while I'm like this, either.

So there. Now I've talked about it. Now I sound like a crazy person on the internet. Thanks, Dan.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

[3/24/15] First nighthike in a while; things got weird.

I'm posting this pretty much right after getting home from the trail, both because it'll be fresh in my mind and because it's probably going to be better than trying to sleep.

So, as the title says, I went out for a hike at around midnight. First time in a couple of days, just because I've been busy with work and really haven't had anyone to give me a lift. See, most of the places I like to hike are closed down at night. What can I say? They've almost always got nicer trails, and it means I'm pretty much certain to have the trails to myself. Most of the time, the road to the parking lot before the trail is gated, so I can't park my car. Instead, I'll have a friend drop me off, and then pick me back up a couple hours later. Dan's usually pretty good about this, but he's been busy so I haven't really been able to head out for a hike in a few nights, at least not anywhere I'd prefer to go.

Sorry, kinda rambling again. Anyway, I just got home from my first hike in a couple nights. Dan dropped me off at one of my favorite haunts, told me he was going to go loiter at a Waffle House for a while, and left me to my business. He never really comes with when I hike- says the woods creep him out at night. That's honestly fine, I prefer to have the trails to myself. Like I said, that's half the reason I go hiking at night.

Usually, I have the trails all to myself. On occasion, if I'm on one of the longer trails, I might run into a backpacker or two doing a night hike. Sometimes it's a bunch of teenagers who decided to sneak into the woods to get drunk and hang out by a fire. More often than not, though, I'm alone.

Honestly, it's the sounds I enjoy the most. Wolves or Coyotes howling, owls hooting or screeching, and, when all the animals are silent, just the wind blowing through the trees. Sometimes I even hear cougars scream. Dan's always said it creeps him out- it sounds like the background noise to a horror movie, he says- but I've always had a fondness for it.

The noises tonight weren't ones I liked, though. Someone else was on the trail with me, and I think once they figured out someone else was out there, they decided to screw with me. At first it just sounded like conversation off in the distance, at the edge of hearing. It was quiet enough that I couldn't understand what was being said, but I wouldn't really call it a whisper, just indistinct. I followed the sound for a while, trying to see if I could find whoever else was on the trail- I might not want to share the trail with people, but I'd rather not surprise someone accidentally. I think they noticed me after a bit. I had my headlamp on, so I was pretty easy to spot. The talking stopped after a while, and I lost track of the other person (or maybe people). After a bit, though, I heard what sounded like laughter, not on the trail, but off in the woods. This would go on for a minute, then silence. A few minutes later, it'd pick back up again, somewhere else. That's why I'm convinced that whoever it was was screwing with me. Why else would they be going off the trail and snickering in the woods?

Honestly, I almost lost the trail a few times trying to keep track of where the laughter was coming from. I figured, if I found whoever it was, I could ask them to cut the crap, but I never saw them. The whole thing made me uneasy, so I called Dan up a bit earlier than I normally would, and we headed home.

Normally, the hikes help relax me, but tonight I'm just tense. Thanks for that, guy. Hope you had fun creeping around the woods and snickering at me.

Maybe next time will be better.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

[3/19/15] Welcome, I guess?

This is my first time doing anything like this, so I apologize if it looks like I have no clue what I'm doing. I don't. So if this is a little stilted or weird or I ramble at times, I'm sorry.

Welcome to my blog, I guess. The name's a bit pretentious, but I didn't name it. Dan (he's a friend of mine- I'll probably talk about him now and then on here) named it, and I haven't really been able to think of anything to which to change it. I'm fairly sure that he just hit the 'random page' button on Wikipedia and copied down one of the first lines. Maybe, if someone actually reads any of this, I'll take whatever suggestions that are given. Dan'll probably be disappointed, but he's always liked things that sound artsy and sophisticated. That's just not me, I guess.

Speaking of me, I should probably talk about myself. That's what people on blogs do, right?

My name is Chris. I like hiking, old movies, and whatever the opposite of posting about yourself on the internet is. If I sound like a Chris you know, dear reader, maybe I am, but I'm going to let you figure that out yourself. No last names, no specific references to were I live. It already feels weird enough talking about myself on the internet, so I'd rather not give more than I have to. See, I'm gonna do this whole 'blog' thing, but it's not really my choice. Dan said he thought this might help, and he's a psych major, so it's either this, or I have to deal with him psychoanalyzing me for the next six months. So, blog it is.

See, I have night terrors. I've lived with them since I was a kid, and they've kind of led to insomnia on occasion. Some nights, I just can't sleep, either because I wake up in a cold sweat, thinking someone is in the room with me, or the fear that I'll have another one will keep me awake. I can sleep fine during the day, but that's generally when I need to be awake, so they cause some issues. Dan, he thinks they're either the result of some childhood trauma or an ingrained fear of the dark.

That's a load of shit. They're just dreams. Everyone has bad dreams sometimes.

So Dan thinks, maybe if I talk about it to strangers on the internet, it'll help me deal with them. At this point, I'll go along with it, but honestly, I have my own ways of dealing with them. I like to go hiking in the middle of the night. I like hiking in general, but night hikes are always the best. The ambience is nicer. I love the sounds of the woods at night. To add to that, I don't have to share the trail with anyone, which is always nice.

Jesus Christ I've rambled. Anyway, my name is Chris, and, assuming I don't give up on this whole thing tomorrow, I'll try to talk about the night terrors, whenever they come up. I'll also try to post about the night hikes if and when anything interesting happens, since that seems like something I'd much rather write a blog about.

See you next time, I guess.